Autism and Building Resiliency
Resiliency. We know this to be the act of overcoming something, such as in this case of challenges or adversity. With Autism resiliency is a daily, if not at times an hourly action. As parents we watch our kiddos with Autism struggle to overcome situations all the time, all the while crying for them, praying for them, and hoping they will gain confidence through the use of their resiliency skills.
There is that common saying that kids are resilient… apparently those people have yet to work much with kids on the Autism spectrum! My husband and I watch our son struggle all the time with resiliency. Change is difficult for him; just the idea of change is enough to make his anxiety unbearable to work with. His face gets red, his eyes dark and mysterious.
We have to teach our children resiliency, it is not something that comes naturally. With children diagnosed with Autism, we have an extra challenge of teaching them this concept and life skill. And we need to demonstrate resiliency continually as to show our children what this looks like. This is not easy, as so often I want to simply scream and yell, slam the door, or shrug my shoulders and say oh well.
Always encourage your child with resiliency. Do not be afraid to use the word, even with young children. One of the best ways you can encourage your child is to explain what you would do in that situation. For example, when my son is trying to put something together but is struggling, I might suggest to him, “When I am struggling with that, I do it this way. That is how I use resiliency.” Then when you see your child using resiliency skills, be sure to comment positively and praise on this well-deserved triumph.
Frustration will come easy, particularly with kids diagnosed with Autism. I caution on knowing the difference between encouraging and forcing. By this I mean you do not want to push and push, or force, your child with working through something to the point where it gets into a meltdown mode or arguments. Always help them when and if they need help.
As parents coping with the effects of Autism, we all know the resiliency we have to maintain daily. We push through the meltdowns, respond to the emails from school that usually are not very encouraging, clean up messes, and take our child to therapy a few times a week. At times we question our ability to parent, but we somehow press forward. Some nights we cry ourselves to sleep, wondering how we will make it through the next day. Sometimes our resiliency comes out through prayer, deep breaths, or extra work.
But hopefully we can all agree that in the end we love and adore our child. There is nothing that I would change about my son, Autism and all! The determination and resiliency that I have gained from working with him has been life-changing. After all, he is the reason I do my job, write this blog, and wake up every morning before the sun comes up.