Being an Advocate
Advocate: to speak or write in favor of; support or urge by argument; recommend publicly (taken from dictionary.com). Or perhaps my definition: See parenting 101.
It can be a challenge to be an advocate for someone, especially if they are your child and you are emotionally involved. But this is an essential part of parenting; particularly for a special needs child. You advocate at school, clubs, social settings, church, bus, etc. And it can be emotionally draining and time consuming; but you just do it.
How to be an Advocate
The biggest part of being an advocate for your child is to truly know and understand what your child needs. This may take time and effort on your part doing research, talking to doctors and therapists, and knowing how the classroom functions on a daily basis. However, it does not mean you have to be a professional in Autism; you just need to be a professional in the concern of your child.
Here are some tips for advocating:
· Be sensitive to the situation- sometimes people just do not understand Autism.
· Take a stand for what you believe is important, but try not to die on hills not worth fighting on.
· If needed, get a professional advocate to help you. Parents hire these individuals to help with school needs.
· Listen to others; try not to always be defensive. Generally people want to help, but often compromises will need to be made.
· Go in knowing what you are talking about- do your research and be informed!
Challenges of Advocating
Today I encountered an organization unsure if they can take my son into their program because of his Autism. I was floored! My heart sunk! Really? I thought… This is crazy! He is high-functioning and does not need direct supervision all the time! I decided to not jump on the defensive quite yet; I will wait to hear back from them and then if needed, get into my you messed with the wrong mom mode.
So, do I go in and yell and make a scene? Well, after doing that, would you want your kid going somewhere that was now hostile and uncomfortable? No, I will not make a scene. I will let them explain their decision and reasoning and if needed, I will counteract. Is this something worth getting into a huge battle over? Probably not; I have other options. However, this may be an opportunity to make a difference. My biggest challenge is not acting emotional; I need a clear head with a calm attitude. And I admit- sometimes I turn these things over to my husband (he is much more intimidating!).
Advocating can be difficult. You want what is best for your child, but you often have to make compromises. We have generally had good experiences with advocating for our son, but there have been times when we have needed to take a stand. It can be intimidating at first, but I suppose after a while you just get use to it. Your skin becomes think, so to say, and you probably do it more than you realize because it is such a big part of your life.
Wrapping it up
I am curious to hear some of your stories on advocating. As a parent you never cease to advocate for your child, even when they are grown up. Like I stated at the beginning, it is parenting 101; it is ingrained in us the moment we become parents.
Take your stand; do it wisely. Be informed and be calm. Ask others for advice and wisdom. Be the best parent you can be!
I did a simple google search on “advocating for child with Autism” and came up with some great resources. These are listed below. They are filled with great information and ideas.